WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
