eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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