Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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