I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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