I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
