chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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