his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
