It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
