jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
