So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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