i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
