imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
