garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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