um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
