Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
