Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
