Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
