he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
