Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
