My sheets look like a crime scene.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
