We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
