just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
