Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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