bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
