she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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