My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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