Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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