My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
