yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
