just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
