I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
