NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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