Don't you send me to vm
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
