Sry I called you an 8
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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