I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
