is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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