you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize