There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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