Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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