Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
