It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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