Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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