The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
