i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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