Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
