Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm at about main and main street
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
