I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
