He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So many bounce houses so little time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
