Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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