OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
