I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
