don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
