I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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