Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
