please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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